Wow, internet, rubbin’ salt in the wounds with Batman Arkham Shadow, are ya’? As if it wasn’t bad enough that Suicide Squad Kills The Justice League killed the Batman Arkham legacy, huh? Now we’re gettin’ Batman Arkham Shadow… for the Metal Quest 3… exclusively… It’s the end times, isn’t it… Never before have we seen such tone-deafness and moronic levels of incompetence in handlin’ a beloved IP. This year is givin’ us whiplash, people.
First, there’s the crapfest that Suicide Squad: Kills The Justice League even exists and losing it all. We needed palette cleanser alternative games to get over Suicide Squad Kills The Justice League. Then, after its sales tanked…hard, what did the idiot executives do? Why, WB Games insanely decide to fully embrace the live-service model, of course. Now, we get the follow up to Arkham Origins, and it’s a VR… game…exclusively… for Meta Quest 3.. We’ll fudge our lives, right?~ Anway, let’s tear it a new one, let’s go!
Batman Arkham Shadow Exemplifies What Is Wrong With The Trend-Chasing In Video Games
Not to sound like a broken record or even a boomer here, but hear us out on this, yeah? Batman is an iconic figure; his place in the comic book medium is already legendary. When we first saw the reveals and played the Batman Arkham Trilogy and even Arkham Origins, we were blown away. It was unprecedented that such an authentic superhero game could even exist.
Arkham Knight was and still is the definitive finale for Arkham Batman, period. ‘Cause Arkham Batman did not die for this turd that is Arkham Shadow. Imagine you’re all excited to see what in-between stories y’all could get in between the Arkham games. You’re hyped and buzzed ’bout the reveal of this trendin’ little teaser. You’re goin’: ok, maybe this is how Rocksteady and WB Games redeem themselves, right?
Well… oof, tough break, ’cause the opposite of it happened. Not only is the game just a VR experience, but it’s also exclusive to Meta Quest 3. Now, VR is not somethin’ we’re cool with in gaming. It’s nowhere near mainstream or even essential as, say… gaming mice to play competitive games like CS2 a Pro. This is just abusin’ the Arkham Batman name to milk y’all dry, plain, and simple! This is just trend-chasing by greedy business suits. It is the symptom of the cancer plaguin’ the gaming industry.
Batman Arkham Shadow Will Be A Colossal Failure Due To VR Nonsense And Meta Quest 3
The sad reality we’re livin’ in is that we just can’t have nice things. Proof’s in the pudding, people. The VR pandering by devs, and then, not just any VR device, oh no, it’s the Meta Quest 3. Yeah, if you’re hearin’ crickets in your head, you’re not alone in that. Tying the exclusivity of a popular game with a niche, not to mention an expensive device, is a deal breaker. It doesn’t help that the entire foundation of the game is gimmicky as hell, too.
Like, seriously, who green-lit this dumpster fire? Fittin’ that Arkham Shadow’s main baddie is the Rat Catcher. ‘Cause it belongs in the sewage. If we’re seemingly comin’ off as triggered, that’s ’cause we are, and the rest of the fandom agrees with our sentiments, too. Like, the VR device in question, the Meta Quest 3 is a whoopin’ $500 retail. So, right there the majority of the players are already out.
Then, there’s the whole VR experience in general. Not many games deliver the kind of thrill of value for money, for that matter. It’s not an investment, it’s a cash-grab device which will just cause devs to be more lazy. Like, for all the tough time we give Nintendo for smashin’ and settling the lawsuit with Switch emulator, Yuzu, even they’re aware that jumpin’ on the VR bandwagon’s a bad idea. They’re takin’ the wait-and-see approach, and honestly, that is sound judgment.
What Could Have Been?
Obviously, SPOILERS AHEAD! ‘but if you’re someone who hasn’t played/watched a Let’s-play of Arkham Knight yet, what the fudge have y’all been doin?! Anyway, the set up for the perfect sequel to Batman Arkham Knight is still right there! It could have even borrowed the Batman Arkham Shadow name, or maybe call it Red Hood: Arkham Shadow. Why? Well, the redemption arc for Jason Todd after his role in Arkham Knight makes sense. The small Black Mask campaign showed that it is definitely doable, but it was too small; we need a full game for him.
Instead, we’re left with the gimmicky, walking sim, with nothin’ in the way of player agency. Ohh~ look at us~ we’re using hand gestures to move Batman in a pre-determined path that’s got no scope of exploration. We’re callin’ it now: Batman: Arkham Shadow is gonna be dead on arrival. It’s hot garbage just usin’ the Batman name without any of the greatness that should always be a part of it. Hell, there was even an internal discussion at WB Games for a Batman Beyond game! It got canned. Revive that project instead, ya ding dongs!
Related: Square Enix In The Red, Posts $140 Million Loss, Cancels Games.
Maybe don’t give the mantle to the little entitled brat of Batman, Damian, and instead bring in Terry Mcginnis. Ya know, the actual successor to the Batman, especially if y’all are familiar with Batman Beyond… It’s one of the best non-Japanese animated series you should watch. Just imagine how cool an epic sci-fi Arkham Batman game would be like. The futuristic neo-Gotham, the ability to actually freakin’ fly, and the combat usin’ the full capabilities of the Batman Beyond suit.
Final Thoughts
Well, that’s our (extremely) hot take on the epic failure that is Batman Arkham Shadow, available exclusively for the Meta Quest 3. Yeah, to the masses, this is gonna be really meme-worthy. In fact, while givin’ us your own thoughts on the matter, post your own favorite gifs and hilarious memes in the comments section below. We can still make some laughter by pokin’ fun at the dinguses. They’re the executives who’re utterly brainless, spineless, and out-of-touch with reality ’bout what gamers actually want. It’s funny, ya know: on the other end of the spectrum, we have the Level-5 Games CEO who wants to make daring games. While the imbeciles at WB Games wanna chase the non-existent success through gimmicks and trends whose ships have sailed.
But, anyway, this is the way things are. And to those who’re sick of it, like we are, we’re gonna have to speak up. However, these corporate types only understand one language, money, so use that. Don’t buy this crap, and let them know this isn’t what y’all want. Use your social media platforms to roast the VR Meta Quest 3 and praise the 4 canon Arkham games. Do all of these things, then hope for the best that someone in charge listens. Anyway, that’s all we’ve got for you today, and boy, howdy, is it drainin’. Check back in soon for more gaming news and other hot takes. We’ll see y’all soon, take care and happy gaming!
